There are certain parts of a financial plan that naturally make people a uncomfortable. Pre-funeral planning is often one of them.
It is not usually an easy conversation to start and most people seem to prefer to put it off altogether. But after sitting down with Maria Graziano-Bickerstaff of Hartman Graziano Funeral Home, Inc. for my most recent By Your Side Chat, I think it is pertinent to explain to clients why this topic deserves a place in the planning process.
Pre-funeral planning is not about focusing on the end of life. It is about making a difficult day a little easier for the people you love most.
When someone passes away, their family is already carrying a tremendous amount of emotion. There are financial accounts to address, estate matters to navigate, people to notify, and a long list of decisions that often need to be made quickly. If no wishes have been discussed or documented, loved ones may also be left wondering: Would Mom have wanted a viewing? Did Dad prefer burial or cremation? Who should lead the service? What music would have meant something to them? Those questions can be difficult under any circumstances, and are even more difficult in the middle of grief.
This is why pre-funeral planning can be such a meaningful gift to your family -- it gives them direction. It lets them know they are carrying out your wishes instead of having to guess at them and can remove some of the emotional burden from a time that is already overwhelming.
Maria thoroughly explained how pre-planning does not have to be all-or-nothing. You do not need to walk into a funeral home and make every possible decision in one sitting. You can begin simply by gathering basic information that your family may need one day, such as details for a death certificate or obituary. A funeral director can help you create a record of important information, including family details, organizations that were meaningful to you, your preferred obituary photo, and other items your loved ones might otherwise have to search for.
From there, you can decide how much more you would like to document. For some people, that may mean simply recording whether they prefer burial or cremation. For others, it may include thoughts about a visitation, a memorial service, a graveside service, favorite readings or music, flowers, clergy, or who they would like to lead the service. Maria also shared an important point that I think is helpful for families to understand: choosing cremation does not mean you cannot have a viewing, funeral, memorial service, or gathering. There are many ways to create a meaningful service, and there is room for each plan to reflect the individual.
You may also decide to think ahead about your final resting place. That could include selecting a cemetery, purchasing a burial plot or cremation niche, or making decisions about a monument or headstone. These choices are deeply personal, and there is no “correct” way to handle them. The goal is simply to make decisions while you have the time and space to think through what feels right for you and your family.
Another part of this planning conversation is cost. Just as there are many ways to plan a service, there are different ways to prepare for final expenses. Some families choose to set aside assets or designate a life insurance policy for this purpose. Others explore prepaid funeral arrangements or irrevocable burial policies through a funeral home. In some cases, there may be estate-planning or Medicaid-planning considerations as well.
This is where it is important to slow down and ask questions. If you are considering prepayment, make sure you understand exactly what is covered, what may not be covered, whether costs are guaranteed, how the arrangement works if you move, and what happens to any unused funds. Some expenses connected to a funeral—such as cemetery charges, obituary notices, death certificates, or honoraria for musicians or clergy—may be outside the funeral home’s control. Because everyone’s financial picture is different, it is wise to coordinate these decisions with your financial, legal, insurance, and funeral professionals.
One of the most important takeaways from our conversation was this: once you have made a plan, please make sure someone knows about it.
Your will is an important document, but it may not be immediately accessible when it is needed. Your family may not know where it is stored, who prepared it, or even that it exists. For that reason, it is helpful to have your funeral wishes documented separately and on file with a funeral home if possible.
You do not have to share every personal detail with your family if that does not feel comfortable. But at a minimum, let someone know that you have made arrangements, where the documents are stored, which funeral home to contact, and whether any funds have been set aside. It may be as simple as saying, “I have a plan in place. Here is who to call, and here is where the information can be found.”
We also encouraged families to keep these documents somewhere safe but accessible. A home safe or encrypted digital vault can work well. You may want to provide copies to your attorney, financial advisor, executor, or a trusted loved one. We generally recommend avoiding a safe-deposit box as the only place these materials are stored, since access can become more complicated after someone passes away.
If the thought of discussing all of this feels too overwhelming, remember that you can take one small step at a time. You can call a funeral home simply to ask questions or request information. There does not need to be a commitment to prepay or finalize every decision. Sometimes the best first step is simply gathering information and beginning the conversation.
The real value of pre-funeral planning is that it is a way to care for your family in advance, provide clarity when it matters most, and make sure your voice is still part of the conversation.
If you would like help coordinating your pre-funeral planning with your financial and estate plan, please reach out to our team at Second Half Coach Wealth Management. We are happy to help you organize the conversation and connect you with trusted resources.
This article is for educational purposes only and is not legal, tax, insurance, Medicaid, or financial advice. Funeral arrangements, prepaid contracts, estate plans, and public-benefit rules vary by state and individual circumstances. Consult the appropriate funeral, legal, tax, insurance, and financial professionals before making decisions.